Change is coming....

My mother reminded me that in the past few weeks, I've really changed and she's not sure whether it's for the best or for the worse. but at the same time. She said that it could be a good thing for me, because I am just now discovering what I want v.s. what I need in my life, and how I go about it is the hard part. I wasn't sure what she meant by that.

It took me long time to figure it out, and I think I know what mom was trying to tell me. Everyone is always trying to change their looks, personality, feelings toward people, and often we forget about our spiritually changes.
It appears that we have placed ourselves in a mind-set that often requires a tragedy to occur before specific change takes place. Sometimes we are allowed by God to do some rather stupid things so we can see the poverty of our life and make a change. Tragedy and stupidity doesn't have to be the catalyst that brings change into our lives. I don't want to get into too deep details about it, but I hope everyone gets the idea.

Your life can ONLY be as great as you believe it to be.
Believe your life is small, you shall have a small life.
Believe your life is weak, you shall have a weak life.
Believe in fear, you will experience fear.
Believe in sickness, you will experience sickness.
Believe your life is big, and your life will be BIG.

So I've always wanted to make changes in my life, and this is great opportunity to say it on here, and make good on my own promises.

Lesson learned at age of 27

Sometime in our relentless effort to find the person we love, we fail to recognize and appreciate the people who love us.We miss out so many beautiful things and simply because we allow ourselves to be enslaved by our own selfish concerns. I learned that the best lovers are those who are capable of loving from a distance, far enough allow the person to grow, but never too far to feel the love within our being. I learned that to let go of someone you truly love doesn't mean you have to stop loving, stop being there for them, stop being their friend, stop being a positive influence on her, stop comforting her, it only means that you allow that person to find their own happiness without expecting them to come back. Letting go is not just setting the person free, but it is also setting yourself free from all the fears ,bitterness, hatred , and anger that we keep in our heart. When we see the sadness in the person we love, we know at that moment, you only want them to be happy, and by doing so, you're letting it go. That's something I'm really struggling with in the last few weeks.

Sometime we need a reminder that we should never allow the bitterness take away our strength and allow it to weaken your faith,and never allow pain to dishearten you,but rather let you grow with wisdom in bearing it. I think that by letting them go, we allows ourselves to find peace in loving someone from a distance not expecting anything in return. We deal with nothing but beautiful memories of the past that we shared, leaving the bad out, and at same time, real peace and happiness come only with open acceptance of what reality is today. We also have to learn to forgive and forget. We often hear people saying that they can forgive, but won't forget. To me, by saying that, we haven't really let go of the past, and we're using the past to hold us back. To order to move on, and be a better person, we have to FORGIVE AND FORGET things in the past and I know that it is very diff cult to do so, but it's critical to every one of us, because by doing that, you're allowing yourself to grow and become a better person. We have to give ourselves to find out what we are capable of giving, but how can we do that if we can't forgive and forget?

There come a time in our lives when we get a chance meeting someone so nice and we find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to that person.This feeling soon become a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions. The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just friendship,or the feelings for you is just too far from how you love her. The sad part is that person may never tell you how they feels. That's when we start our desperate attempts to get noticed and be closer and in the end our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves.

A friend of mine reminded me that we dont have to be bitter on love,We don't have to give up on love. What we need is to learn to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for ourselves. Believe me, we would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving, that can gives the same thing in return. Don't allow our heart run our life, be sensible and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feeling but to reason as well. That's the key part to love, because it allows us to look within ourself, and find what we want.

I learned today that if we lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow: It might be the same person you love, but as a better person than ever before. Or it might be someone else better. We loses love all the time and that doesn't mean that we failed in love. The best thing about love is that it finds a way. If we need to cry, it's okay, but we have to make sure that the tears washes away the hurts and the bitterness that the past has left with you. We have to let go of yesterday and love will find it's way back to us. And when it does, pray that it maybe the love that will stay and last a lifetime. We have to remember that to learn to let a person go, you have to expect them to not come back, because we don't want to set ourselves up for false hopes, and if true love prevails, that person will come back, if it doesn't, then someone better will be here tomorrow. We understand that love is not about sharing same common interests, but rather sharing the same chemistry and respecting one's other.

I know that when we lose someone we love, and we think that person were the one who we loved the most, between two of us, to us, whoever we loved lost more. The reason I said that is because someday, we can love someone the way that we loved the person, and the person we loved will never be loved the way I did.

I know that by letting a person go and allowing them to do their own thing, we are becoming a better person, and maybe be a better friend, be a better person, with a better understanding of love is and how it works. I know that in love, anything is possible and that it's okay to be happy. We can't force another people to feel what we feels, we can only speak what's coming from our heart and leave it up to God to handle it. If it's meant to be, she'll be back, if it's not, God will send me someone else. Either way, I know that I'll always be there for her, anything she needs, I'm here. I just hope that she knows that, because I really do care for her, and I love her very much. I do realize that I am jealous person, I'm an arse, conceited, annoying, jackass, selfish, but at same time, I know she see the good in me. True story...

Was lost.. but now I'm finding a way to be found.

I wrote this two years ago, and I realized that during my journey of figuring out what I want from life... I realized that I actually took a different path without realizing it, and I need to do something about that, so I can get back on track... Enjoy this post...

You know what I've learned something interesting this past weekend, and finding ideal woman is real hard these day. How do I know when there is a perfect woman out there for me? How do I know whether my dream girl is the ideal woman for me? I thought about it, and It took me long time, and here's what I've come to conclusion: Perfection is an ideal situation where everything is just the way it should be, no flaws, no irregularities. So basically, a perfect state or condition, there is seamless integration and functioning of all elements and components. So basically, what I am saying is that.... there is no such things as perfection. It is not possible. I think we've spent all of our life striving for perfection. We aim for the ideal state, and yet it can not be achievable. It's just a illusion to us. That's what I've had to come to grasp with this concept this past weekend. There is no such things as a perfect woman. No woman is perfect. The ideal woman is not a perfect woman, but one who comes close. By understanding the concept of perfect, it helps you put your priorities in the right places. I do believe though that there is women out there who comes close to perfections than other. I do believe that the closer the woman is to perfection, better it is for you and the relationship.

So I had to ask myself this question: What makes a woman the ideal woman for me? To find out that, I had to sit down and write down criteria and I realized something else.. Everyone just wanted to be happy. Thats' the most important thing.. be happy. What I yearn for is a loving and caring woman, who is honest and trustworthy in relationship. I want a lady, who is committed to the relationship 100 percent. When certain situation arise, She has to be firm and decisive and be at peace with her decisions. I want someone who believes in sharing and caring for other people. Be considerate of other people's feelings and know when to help out. I want a lady who is God-Fearing woman, who attends church every Sunday with me. She doesn't have to be a perfect Christian, but at least make effort to be the best Christian. Most important of all, She has to be simple. Lead a simple lifestyle. Her lifestyle, uncluttered and uncomplicated. Just keep it simple. Over the years, I've chose women based on their looks, and I realized I've been going about it the wrong way. Virtues of a woman lasts lifetime.. Outward appearance fade with time. I guess I am finally understanding what I want out of a woman.. and I'm only 27 years old.. Maybe something good will happen to me this year, who knows? I may have made mistakes over the years, but I'm determined to not make the same mistakes again. I'm really going to have to learn to be patient, and look for those qualities in each women I meet.