Angry, Bitter and Hateful People

“ Bitter describes a person who takes any statement as a personal insult. It doesn't even matter if the statement is about them at all or not. “

Angry, hateful and bitter people often create problems in workplace, friendships and relationship because they believe that if they are unhappy in their lives, then others must suffer.   I’m sitting here trying to figure out what makes people bitter and angry and I’ve come to conclusions, that they have trouble getting past the disappointments in their life.  People will dwell on them, and hold on to the past and it becomes a key factor in their life in a negative way. They hold in pain and hurt so long, as the times progresses on, they will take it out on anyone involved in their life.   I guess maybe they can’t just handle disappointments,  and they end up being bitter and hateful.  I understand that there are some folks  out there that may have negative feelings toward people and may have valid reasons to be angry, but at the same time, there are others just wish to avoid responsibility for their own failings.

In general, I think we as people need to learn how to do things to be happy. Happiness should be part of our life. We need to learn to be happy, not being angry and bitter.

 

Compromising values... Is it worth it?

I'm working on a blog right now.. This should be posted sometime next week.. It'll be very intense and very interesting. Meanwhile.. read up on some of my old posts from myspace... It never gets old, but hopefully you'll learn something new from this.

Is it really worth it? Do we compromise our values, just to give that person what they want?

One of the mistakes I learned from compromising your values is that people who compromise values for many reasons. Sometime we may ignore one of our values simply to please the people in your life. I know it's not good at all. Friendship, Relationship, Associates.. etc… it's about trust, acceptance, appreciation, love and honesty. We simply cannot afford to be anything than who you really are within a relationship or friendship... I think it's important that we should remain true to ourselves. Today, I learned that there are many people out there who are not being true themselves, constantly faking friendship or relationship, etc and yet they wonder why they can't keep someone in their life.

I guess we should understand that committing to being genuine and true to your values is the key here. Man, don't ever let anyone compromise your values no matter what. Our parent raised us according to their values, and we will raise our children according to our values that our parent instilled in us, so it's very important that we stick to what we believe in and not compromise it at all. If anyone comes along and he or she may insist that your value is not of importance to them, therefore it shouldn't be to you. Right? WRONG! Remember our values are extremely valuable to us, and it's important that we remain true to it. If you give in and let that person have their way; believe me, you will regret it. I made this mistake and still regret it to this day.

Whatever relationship we have with certain person (Love, business, social, etc...), it's based on acceptance of each others values. I feel like we shouldn't even attempt to convince someone that their value is wrong. I think that there is nothing wrong with expressing our values to anyone, but to convince them to change theirs when they do not agree with us is not right.

When we compromise our important values… it will cause us to lose in two ways: You will resent that person, and you will not be happy. Second thing is that we're going to regret it no matter how we handle it……..

Consider it lesson learned for me…….I should've never compromised my values when it counted the most…….

Nothing about nothing....

So, how do I write something about something that I'm not sure how to say it? There are so many things racing through my mind about things that's going on in my life. It's so hard to express any of this. I guess I am trying to figure out what kind of direction I want to go with this, because as I continue my journey as a black man, I'm trying to figure out who's going to come along with me on this journey, and how do I move forward with this? Maybe, I'm still trying to sort my thoughts out, so that I can finally resolve some things.. maybe.. I don't know. I think we'll know more in the near future.. I guess we'll have to wait and see... Right now, I know that only one person truly understand me, how I feel, what I am thinking and that is God. More on that later....

J

Change is coming....

My mother reminded me that in the past few weeks, I've really changed and she's not sure whether it's for the best or for the worse. but at the same time. She said that it could be a good thing for me, because I am just now discovering what I want v.s. what I need in my life, and how I go about it is the hard part. I wasn't sure what she meant by that.

It took me long time to figure it out, and I think I know what mom was trying to tell me. Everyone is always trying to change their looks, personality, feelings toward people, and often we forget about our spiritually changes.
It appears that we have placed ourselves in a mind-set that often requires a tragedy to occur before specific change takes place. Sometimes we are allowed by God to do some rather stupid things so we can see the poverty of our life and make a change. Tragedy and stupidity doesn't have to be the catalyst that brings change into our lives. I don't want to get into too deep details about it, but I hope everyone gets the idea.

Your life can ONLY be as great as you believe it to be.
Believe your life is small, you shall have a small life.
Believe your life is weak, you shall have a weak life.
Believe in fear, you will experience fear.
Believe in sickness, you will experience sickness.
Believe your life is big, and your life will be BIG.

So I've always wanted to make changes in my life, and this is great opportunity to say it on here, and make good on my own promises.

Lesson learned at age of 27

Sometime in our relentless effort to find the person we love, we fail to recognize and appreciate the people who love us.We miss out so many beautiful things and simply because we allow ourselves to be enslaved by our own selfish concerns. I learned that the best lovers are those who are capable of loving from a distance, far enough allow the person to grow, but never too far to feel the love within our being. I learned that to let go of someone you truly love doesn't mean you have to stop loving, stop being there for them, stop being their friend, stop being a positive influence on her, stop comforting her, it only means that you allow that person to find their own happiness without expecting them to come back. Letting go is not just setting the person free, but it is also setting yourself free from all the fears ,bitterness, hatred , and anger that we keep in our heart. When we see the sadness in the person we love, we know at that moment, you only want them to be happy, and by doing so, you're letting it go. That's something I'm really struggling with in the last few weeks.

Sometime we need a reminder that we should never allow the bitterness take away our strength and allow it to weaken your faith,and never allow pain to dishearten you,but rather let you grow with wisdom in bearing it. I think that by letting them go, we allows ourselves to find peace in loving someone from a distance not expecting anything in return. We deal with nothing but beautiful memories of the past that we shared, leaving the bad out, and at same time, real peace and happiness come only with open acceptance of what reality is today. We also have to learn to forgive and forget. We often hear people saying that they can forgive, but won't forget. To me, by saying that, we haven't really let go of the past, and we're using the past to hold us back. To order to move on, and be a better person, we have to FORGIVE AND FORGET things in the past and I know that it is very diff cult to do so, but it's critical to every one of us, because by doing that, you're allowing yourself to grow and become a better person. We have to give ourselves to find out what we are capable of giving, but how can we do that if we can't forgive and forget?

There come a time in our lives when we get a chance meeting someone so nice and we find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to that person.This feeling soon become a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions. The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just friendship,or the feelings for you is just too far from how you love her. The sad part is that person may never tell you how they feels. That's when we start our desperate attempts to get noticed and be closer and in the end our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves.

A friend of mine reminded me that we dont have to be bitter on love,We don't have to give up on love. What we need is to learn to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for ourselves. Believe me, we would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving, that can gives the same thing in return. Don't allow our heart run our life, be sensible and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feeling but to reason as well. That's the key part to love, because it allows us to look within ourself, and find what we want.

I learned today that if we lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow: It might be the same person you love, but as a better person than ever before. Or it might be someone else better. We loses love all the time and that doesn't mean that we failed in love. The best thing about love is that it finds a way. If we need to cry, it's okay, but we have to make sure that the tears washes away the hurts and the bitterness that the past has left with you. We have to let go of yesterday and love will find it's way back to us. And when it does, pray that it maybe the love that will stay and last a lifetime. We have to remember that to learn to let a person go, you have to expect them to not come back, because we don't want to set ourselves up for false hopes, and if true love prevails, that person will come back, if it doesn't, then someone better will be here tomorrow. We understand that love is not about sharing same common interests, but rather sharing the same chemistry and respecting one's other.

I know that when we lose someone we love, and we think that person were the one who we loved the most, between two of us, to us, whoever we loved lost more. The reason I said that is because someday, we can love someone the way that we loved the person, and the person we loved will never be loved the way I did.

I know that by letting a person go and allowing them to do their own thing, we are becoming a better person, and maybe be a better friend, be a better person, with a better understanding of love is and how it works. I know that in love, anything is possible and that it's okay to be happy. We can't force another people to feel what we feels, we can only speak what's coming from our heart and leave it up to God to handle it. If it's meant to be, she'll be back, if it's not, God will send me someone else. Either way, I know that I'll always be there for her, anything she needs, I'm here. I just hope that she knows that, because I really do care for her, and I love her very much. I do realize that I am jealous person, I'm an arse, conceited, annoying, jackass, selfish, but at same time, I know she see the good in me. True story...

Was lost.. but now I'm finding a way to be found.

I wrote this two years ago, and I realized that during my journey of figuring out what I want from life... I realized that I actually took a different path without realizing it, and I need to do something about that, so I can get back on track... Enjoy this post...

You know what I've learned something interesting this past weekend, and finding ideal woman is real hard these day. How do I know when there is a perfect woman out there for me? How do I know whether my dream girl is the ideal woman for me? I thought about it, and It took me long time, and here's what I've come to conclusion: Perfection is an ideal situation where everything is just the way it should be, no flaws, no irregularities. So basically, a perfect state or condition, there is seamless integration and functioning of all elements and components. So basically, what I am saying is that.... there is no such things as perfection. It is not possible. I think we've spent all of our life striving for perfection. We aim for the ideal state, and yet it can not be achievable. It's just a illusion to us. That's what I've had to come to grasp with this concept this past weekend. There is no such things as a perfect woman. No woman is perfect. The ideal woman is not a perfect woman, but one who comes close. By understanding the concept of perfect, it helps you put your priorities in the right places. I do believe though that there is women out there who comes close to perfections than other. I do believe that the closer the woman is to perfection, better it is for you and the relationship.

So I had to ask myself this question: What makes a woman the ideal woman for me? To find out that, I had to sit down and write down criteria and I realized something else.. Everyone just wanted to be happy. Thats' the most important thing.. be happy. What I yearn for is a loving and caring woman, who is honest and trustworthy in relationship. I want a lady, who is committed to the relationship 100 percent. When certain situation arise, She has to be firm and decisive and be at peace with her decisions. I want someone who believes in sharing and caring for other people. Be considerate of other people's feelings and know when to help out. I want a lady who is God-Fearing woman, who attends church every Sunday with me. She doesn't have to be a perfect Christian, but at least make effort to be the best Christian. Most important of all, She has to be simple. Lead a simple lifestyle. Her lifestyle, uncluttered and uncomplicated. Just keep it simple. Over the years, I've chose women based on their looks, and I realized I've been going about it the wrong way. Virtues of a woman lasts lifetime.. Outward appearance fade with time. I guess I am finally understanding what I want out of a woman.. and I'm only 27 years old.. Maybe something good will happen to me this year, who knows? I may have made mistakes over the years, but I'm determined to not make the same mistakes again. I'm really going to have to learn to be patient, and look for those qualities in each women I meet.

Beauty of An Angel

Never can I forget the day
That day at the park
Holding each other for hours
I'll never forget that day
Your sweet soft kisses,
From those precious lips,
I never thought this day would exist.
Feeling the heartbeat of an angel right next to mine,
You sent chills up my spine
When I felt your soft touch.
It's the way you made my heart race
When you put your pretty face on my chest,
How your angelic voice made me smile,
Even just to hear you sighs.
Staring into those deep brown eyes,
Playing with your beautiful hair,
All I wanted to do was hold you and stare
No matter how im feeling, you bring a smile to my heart.
You truly are a blessing that I can't let pass me by.

You Complete Me

You and I share a love that is the long lasting kind
We've been together for some time now
So, I want to take my time to tell you that
I love you for so many things,
Your voice, your touch, your kiss, your smile.

I never told you this, but You make me feel complete.
You accept me as I am;
I can relax and be me when I am around you
Many times, I've goofed up,
You always thought it was cute; because you let me be.

I love you with all my heart
because of your tireless devotions that never fails
You look at me with a patient heart.
I know you love me with all your heart.
You've always given your heart completely to me from the start.

Those are just a few reasons why
I'll always love you like I do.
I know we'll share many beautiful moments together in this lifetime
Because I know it'll happen, because of your strong love for each other

Few Tears

I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out, I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while.

Even though going on with you gone still upsets me, There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok, But that’s not what gets me.

What hurts the most, Was being so close
And having so much to say, And watching you walk away, And never knowing
What could have been, And not seeing that loving you Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go, But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone Still Harder Getting up, Getting dressed,

Livin’ with this regret

But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken

What hurts the most, Is being so close
And having so much to say, And watching you walk away, And never knowing, What could have been And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do.

What hurts the most, Is being so close And having so much to say
And watching you walk away, And never knowing What could have been, And not seeing that loving you Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do.

Never say GoodBye

Never say Goodbye

There isn't much to say but that I'm sorry
We've been through so many things
and yet here we are saying goodbye
Don't you know Friends don't say goodbye

When we were friend,
You were there for me,
And I wasn't there for you,
but what’s happening right now,
I guess now that we're not friends,
it’s really hard for me to let you go
but I know friends don't say goodbye
and yet here we are saying goodbye


No one will ever take your place
I can always promise you this
It’s hard to find someone like you
So know you’ll always be missed
Oh, how I already miss you.

Never again will I laugh with you,
Never again smile at your jokes.
This is it, this is the end,
Friends don't say goodbye.
and yet here we are saying goodbye...

Goodbye for now
There isn't much to say but that I'm Sorry
You and I have been through everything together
Now it is time for us to part
You will always have a place in my heart
So Until we meet again
Friends don't say goodbye.

I do

I wrote this for someone.. and I didn't really get a chance to show it to her.... Oh well. Here it is.

Girl,I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I love you deeply, and I cherish you with all my heart;
On my bended knee, with this I promise to you,

Is that I see you and I saying "I do".

We've been together for quite a while,
And I feel there's something to say.
If it's not now then I never will,
So I'll say it straight out,
'cause I have no doubt, that I see you and I saying "I do".

I have always loved you since the day we met,
I felt that firework burst inside.
I never thought my dreams would come true,
that is until the day I met you.
So baby, I can see you and I saying "I do" standing before family and
friends

No matter What stands in our way,
I love and cherish you,
I am the happiest man when I am with you.
You're the only person in the world
From whom I cannot stand to be apart.
And though God, Our love is perfect.
I'm on my bended knee and I promise to you
Is that I see you and I saying "I do".

I wish

I’m going to keep this real short….

I wish Life has an “Undo” button, so I can undo everything that happened in my life…. but I can’t. Things happen for a reason.

I wish I can heal everyone’s pain, and be one’s hero but I can’t… because the one I love wouldn’t let me.

I wish I can trust people with my heart, but I can’t. It’s not that easy. Once I give my heart to the one I love, It breaks easily.

I wish I can mov eon from all of this, but I can’t. Something is telling me to fix it.. but fix what?

I wish I can smile once again for no reason, but I can’t for now. I’m forced to figure out why I can’t be happy.

I wish that she would stop being so selfish and start to compromise, but I know she won’t.

I wish I can press the rewind button to the part where things start falling apart, but I can’t. When it comes to Life, it constantly plays, never stop.

I wish I can make her happy, but I know I can’t. Only you can make yourself happy.

I wish I could get on my knee and propose to her, but I know I can’t, because she doesn’t know what she wants out of life.

I wish……. everything was back to normal, but I know it probably won’t be for a while.

Confused

Once a time, I fell in love with this beautiful girl. There was something about her, the way she carried herself, her confidence that lit up the room as she walks in. I never thought I would fall in love with anyone until that day . The best part about being in love with her was that every moment that we shared, it was full of laughter, happiness and the presence of peace. I really did loved that girl and I still do. I gave thanks to GOD every day for bringing her in my life, because she brought joy to my life. I loved being around her. She always made my problems go away with her smile, and the way she touched me. I felt loved and appreciated by her. Everything was fine and dandy for a while, then all of suddenly, it disappeared. I mean, dead. Gone. Disconnected. She was gone. No longer the taste of her sweet strawberry kisses lingering on my lips, long intimate hugs, the feeling of being loved and wanted. It’s not there anymore. No matter how hard I try, I can’t get it back. All that’s left is a memories that I can’t touch or smell. I miss touching her, kissing her and holding her close to my heart. I always could look into her perfect brown eyes and see myself. I get so lost in her.

I have done my best as a man, providing for her. I’ve done my best as a friend, being there for her and still it wasn’t enough. I fought hard to show her that I was the best man for her, and still it wasn’t enough. I wonder, did I try hard enough with her? Enough to show her that I was willing to fight for her love, her heart? I've fought God on this many time, and he always won. He knew what was best for us.

Now, that she is gone, I find myself wondering about many things surrounding love and relationship. I find myself wondering, if I will ever have that same love I experienced with her but long enough to make it last forever? Will I ever feel the warmth of love, feeling so completed? Before she left, Everyone was saying she was the one for me, because they saw it in our eyes and then it was gone. Just like that. Can that really happen? Right now, I need a glance, a smile, a touch, because I feel so desperate and alone. My heart tells me that if I ever get a chance once again, I will reach out and grab her hand tightly and never let it go, but I know it will never happen again. They say memories allows us to move on, but I say it allows us to suffer as well.

Maybe someday after my heart heals, I’ll meet someone, and hopefully I will open up to her. Cover to Cover. Nothing to hide. No pain, no fears, no hopelessness. By then, I’ll be able to see everything, because before I was blind. We’ll see.