Past and the Present: The Journey never ends

                     

Past:

First of all, 2010 was a year of growth and exploration. It was one of the most unusual years for me. Here are some of the highlights from 2010:

•          Dealing with My Aunt Nettie and My cousin Cam’s death within two weeks apart of each other.
•          Developing and maintaining my relationship with people I love ( dating, family and friends) 
•       Pushed myself beyond the limit just to accomplish goals at work. (Working overtimes and  weekends)
•          Dealing with my father’s sickness and being in hospital for several weeks)
•          Dealing with the breakup with my ex and handling it emotionally and mentally.
•         Drama going on with family and friends.

In many ways, I would say it has been a chaotic year for me. If you had to sit here and think about it, you would think that I placed high emphasis on stability, security and loyal in 2010. I admit I spent lot of time pushing the boundaries of my comfort zone, and I know I have pushed people’s boundaries as well. I did that to get people to try new things. I can definitely say that 2010 was very stressful year and I went through a lot, but at the same time, I did experience new things.  I feel like I really lived this year, not in the sense of living it up, but in the sense of having “had a life” outside of work. I did a number of things just for the experience because I’d never done them before.

 It really felt good to push myself to move in new directions, especially after all the tribulations occurred in the past year. I found myself rediscovering myself as an individual that I could be proud of. I had to take a look at my values and evaluate what was important to me in my life. What are my priorities and what do I want in life? I decided that I wanted to explore experience and contribute in life.   I guess you can say that I spent some time exploring personal growth in 2010 and I don’t have any regrets about that.

Present:

Since 2010 was very intense and difficult year for me, I’ve decided to continue my personal growth into 2011, because I’m still learning from my experiences in 2010 and I feel while it is important to set new goals for this year, I must remember to use the experiences in 2010 as guidance to make myself better overall in many aspects of my life.

My new goals for this year are to make sure I have an opportunity to enjoy my freedom, the freedom to enjoy life. I want the freedom to be not chained to work.  I want the freedom to be able to express myself honestly and openly, and not willing to conform to other’s expectations in order to get what I want.  I want fun, excitement, challenges this year. I want to experience new things! I’m excited about what this year will bring, because you’ll never know what will happen.

  

Kiss in the Rain

Last night, I had a dream about this girl I had just met.  All I remember is that we were stepping out of the car and into street, and the rain was slowly falling hitting the ground softly. I remember this girl was wrapping her arm around my neck and my hand on her waist. Our eyes were focused on each other, like we didn't have any care in the world. I leaned in and whispered into her ear, " You know You always are smiling, and there's no room for any tears in your heart."  Then I watched her smiling with joy and for a moment, our lips touched each other, in the rain, in middle of nowhere.  We kissed with passion. I held her tight and for a moment, I thought  I heard the angels crying, and what a beautiful sound it was. I never knew that a kiss could be perfect with the right girl. I felt her pulling my lower lips and what a feeling it was! My whole body tingled, like I lost control temporarily. That's all I remembered... I promise you, If you don't know what perfection is... Kissing in the rain will give you that perfect feeling, if done with the right one.  There's lot of things in the world that can take away pain, but kissing in the rain.. takes the cake. You know what... I'll never know who that girl was, but I can assure you, she's here, I just haven't met her yet.

Every woman needs...

A woman needs...

needs a real man, who can ... who will support her talent instead of tear her down. 

 needs a man who doesn't mind sharing her with  his computer because he knows whatever success she achieve from my goals that she do will eventually benefit him.

needs a man to understand her passion for life and she knows he will support her no matter what. 

 needs a man who understands when she is focused on something important, knows that he might as well hang it up if he wanted something from her. Although sometimes a woman will amaze him, when she drop what I'm doing and see what he wants or sometimes take a break, get a "whopping release" from him - which we all  have done before and not even realized it. "Oh my Lord, it's four in the morning already," is a very familiar phrase.(Yeah, that's TMI)

need a man who will understand that  her house will never look like the Brady Brunch unless he employees a maid or do it himself.

need a man who will know she can cook, she just choose to do it three times out the week and two of them might consist of a well put together Banquet meal and a pot pie from the microwave.

need a man to know that there's a meaning to her madness, but if he just waits for the end product it will make sense.

need a man to know that she have a father already who will move mountains for me, a job that takes care of her benefits and pays the necessary bills, and a retirement built up that will make sure she do not need anything financially once she decide to stop working, but needs a man who will want to make her unbelievably out of her mind happy, who will be the rock she need to lean on, and the one who she can be vulnerable with, becauseit's hard work being the strong black woman all the time 24/7. And that's very rare to see that these day.

need a man who can find his own hobby and not sit around twiddling his thumbs and constantly asking me, "what are we doing tonight"

 

need a man who will kiss  her tired fingers, bring her an Lemon Sweet Tea when he knows She's dead tired, and can't do anything.

need a man who will run her a hot bath, with candles burning with Barry White playing in background, giving her a bath, and then drying her off with a towel, and put her to bed, doing it because he knows she've had a hard day.

needs a man who will stare into her eyes, and tell her that everything is going to be okay, and kisses her on forehead and all of sudden the world just got better.

needs a man who not only showers her with gifts, but showers with love, affection and hugs.